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| PE0PLE CHANGE, 0KAY iTS UNDERSTANDABLE; BUT S0ME 0THERS D0N'T EVER CHANGE THEY JUST PRETEND T0 BE S0METHiNG THEY ARE N0T. THEY WiLL NEVER RELiZE iT BECAUSE THEY'RE STUCK UP & G0T THEiR HEAD FULL 0F WANNA BE CRAP & JUST D0N'T SEE WHAT REALLY iTS G0iNG 0N. iN MY PRESPECTiVE i HATE WANNABES & FAKES, THEY'RE JUST A B0UNCH 0F UNSECURE PE0PLE THAT JUST WANT T0 FED iN THE CR0WD 0F PE0PLE, S0 THEY ACT DiFFERENT, & D0 STUPiD THiNGS THAT THEiR S0 CALLED FRiENDS THiNK iS C00L & SHiT.. HEH i iNTEND T0 STAY AWAY FR0M THiS KiND 0F PE0PLE, BUT S0ME ARE REAL CL0SE T0 ME & iT MAKES ME SAD THAT i GET T0 SEE WHAT THEY'RE TRYiNG T0 BE, & i CAN'T REALLY HATE THEM 0R STAY AWAY FR0M THEM BECAUSE i KN0W H0W THEY REALLY ARE & i L0VE THE PERS0N THAT THEY ACTUALLY ARE iNSiDE; BUT EVERYTiME i TRY & TELL THEM T0 L00K AT THEMSELVES & SEE H0W THEY'RE ACTiNG THEY JUST GET 0FFENDED & REFUSE T0 ADMiT THAT THEY'RE BEiNG FAKE, & i KN0W THAT THEY'LL NEVER ADMiT T0 iT THEY'RE T0 STUCK UP iN THEiR WH0LE FAKE W0RLD. iTS SAD THAT PE0PLE G0 THREW STUPiD SHiT JUST T0 BE iN THE GR0UP 0F "FRiENDS" THEY ARE iN.. iM MY 0PiNi0N iT MAKES ME LAUGH, & i JUST WANT T0 TELL THEM H0W iT REALLY iS & T0 ST0P BEiNG FAKE, BUT EVERYTiME i D0 i JUST GET A "WHATEVER iM N0T TRYiNG T0 BE ANYTHiNG 0THER THEN MYSELF" & JUST A B0UNCH 0F 0THER CRAP.. EGH iM REAL TiRED 0F iT BUT THERES N0THiNG i CAN REALLY D0 AB0UT ALL THiS LiKE i SAiD PE0PLE ARE JUST WAAYY T0 iNT0 THEiR FAKE W0RLD.
THiS PE0PLE JUST NEED T0 RELiZE THAT JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE LiKE THiS PE0PLE TAKE ADVANTAGE 0F THEM, SAY THEY ARE THEiR FRiENDS BUT iF Y0U D0N'T D0 S0METHiNG THAT THEY ASK Y0U T0 D0, SUDDENDLY Y0U'RE N0T THEiR FRiEND ANYM0RE, SERi0USLY PE0PLE WHY CAN Y0U ALL JUST GET THE PiCTURE!?? HEH BUT WHATEVER Y0U ARE A J0KE T0 D0ES PE0PLE THAT Y0U CALL FRiENDS, & Y0U JUST MAKiNG A F00L 0F Y0URSELF & Y0U HURT THEM PE0PLE THAT ACTUALLY LiKE Y0U F0R WH0 Y0U THE REAL Y0U.
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| KEEP GETTiNG CRAZY AND CRAZY AND MULTiPLYiNG BY THE MiNUTE, i D0N'T KN0W iS JUST RiGHT N0W LiFE SEEMS LiKE iS JUST GETTiNG W0RSER AND W0RSER AND MYLES D0ESN'T GiVE A DAMM AB0UT ANYTHiNG, EGH S0METiMES i JUST FEEL LiKE MY LiFE iS G0iNG T0 C0ME T0 AN END ANYTiME S00N, AND iT MAKES ME WANNA CRY, WELL FiRST 0F ALL BECAUSE i G0T MYLES JR. N0W AND SEC0ND 0F ALL BECAUSE i D0N'T WANNA BE AWAY FR0M HiM AND MYLES ; EGH i JUST WiSH LiFE W0ULD JUST QUiT BRiNGiNG ME D0WN i JUST CAN'T WAiT T0 G0 T0 BEAUTY SCH00L AND GET ALL MY SCH00L AND CAREER D0NE, S0 i CAN JUST BE G0iNG T0 W0RK & TAKiNG CARE 0F CHiLD AND D0N'T HAVE T0 ASK ANYB0DY F0R ANYTHiNG, CAUSE i JUST FUCKiNG HATE THE FACT! i WANT T0 BE iNDEPENDENT AND DEPEND 0N ME AND 0NLY ME, i WANT MY FUTURE T0 BE BETTER THEN MY PRESENT AND GiVE THE BEST i CAN T0 MYLES JR. S0 HE CAN HAVE A BETTER LiFE THEN i DiD WHiLE GR0WiNG UP, & MAYBE HE'LL BE A GREAT B0Y NEAR iN THE FUTURE. N0W THAT i G0T MYLES JR. i SEEM T0 BE A DiFFERENT PERS0N, i MEAN MYLES KEEPS TELLiNG ME THAT i CHANGED, AND N0! i DiDN'T REALLY CHANGE i JUST GREW UP & G0T THE FACTS iN MY FCkN BRAiN THAT i G0T A KiD T0 L00K UP F0R & SHiT, THERES N0 M0RE KiDDY GAMES LiKE iT WAS BEF0RE HE CAME iNT0 MY LiFE, T0 BE H0NEST YES i D0 MiSS G0iNG 0UT EVERY WEEKEND WiTH MYLES & FRiENDS, AND JUST HANGiNG 0UT HAViNG A G00D TiME.. BUT i KN0W i HAVE A CHiLD N0W AND HE C0MES FiRST ALWAYS N0W, PARTYiNG & HANGiNG 0UT iS WAAAY iN THE BACK 0F THE LiST.. RiGHT N0W i JUST WANNA BE THE BEST iT CAN BE AND RAiSE MY CHiLD :) CAUSE N0B0DY ELSE iS G0NNA D0 iT BUT ME, CAUSE MYLES STiLL WANTS T0 JUST G0 AND HANG 0UT & D0N'T GiVE A DAMM AB0UT SHiT EXCEPT F0R HiS DAMM FRiENDS, YEAH HE'S G0NE & W0RKED WiTH HiS DAD & G0T S0ME M0NEY AND SHiT BUT i MEAN iT STiLL AiN'T EN0UGH T0 SURViVE.. HEH i WAS REALLY THiNKiNG 0N G0iNG BACK T0 LiBERTY HS UNTiL i WAS READY T0 G0 & TAKE MY G.E.D TEST & GET MY CREDiTS BUT, THEN i WAS JUST THiNKiNG N0W THAT i MiGHT JUST HAVE MYLES G0 T0 SCH00L iN THE M0RNiNGS & WHEN HE GETS H0ME i'LL G0 T0 W0RK CAUSE HE'LL PR0BABLY BE W0RKiNG WiTH HiS DAD 0N THE WEEKENDS.. BUT i MEAN i D0N'T KN0W, CAUSE MYLES D0ESN'T WANT ME W0RKiNG, BUT EGH! i JUST HATE THE FACT 0F ME N0T HAViNG M0NEY 0F MY 0WN T0 BE ABLE T0 GET SHiT THAT i WANT LiKE iT WAS BEF0RE WHEN i ALWAYS HAD MY M0NEY & DiD WHAT i PLEASED WiTH iT.. i MEAN i JUST WANT LiFE T0 BE BETTER S0 i CAN GiVE EVERYTHiNG i CAN T0 MY S0N.. | | |
| S0 BABY WAS B0RN 0N JUNE 9.. AND S0 i TOUGHT THiNGS WERE G0iNG T0 CHANGE.. EGH i WAS WR0NG!! HEH iT DiD F0R LiKE THE FiRST FEW DAYS THEN ALL WENT BACK T0 MYLES LiViNG THE H0USE AND G0iNG T0 STEPHS AND N0T C0MiNG H0ME AND FiGHTiNG WiTH ME AGAiN AND ALL THAT.. HEH iM SERi0USLY GETTiNG TiRED 0F ALL 0F THiS.. iM S00 TEMPTED 0F PACKiNG MY AND MYLES JR. STUFF AND JUST LEAVE BUT i THiNK 0F MYLES AND i TRY T0 LEAVE THAT T0UGHT AND F0RGET AB0UT ME AND MYLES JR. LEAViNG HiM.. BUT MYLES JUST KEEPS 0N FUCKiNG ME 0VER AND 0VER AGAiN, HEH i D0N'T KN0W WHAT T0 D0 ANYM0RE HEH i JUST WiSH MYLES W0ULD ST0P LYiNG T0 ME AND FUCKiNG LEAViNG ME AND MYLES JR. H0ME HE SAYS HE CARES AB0UT BABY BUT HE SURE D0ES N0T ACT LiKE iT iM JUST AFRAiD THAT HE'S G0iNG T0 GiVE UP 0N ME AND BABY.. CAUSE i AM S00 CL0SE T0 D0 S0; i JUST CAN'T STAND THiS ANYM0RE i JUST WiSH THAT HE W0ULD G0 BACK LiKE THE WAY HE USED T0 BE 0N H0W HE ALWAYS WANTED T0 BE NEAR ME AND H0W HE USED T0 W0RRY THAT BABY W0ULDN'T BE AWAY FR0M HiM AT ALL.. HEH BUT i D0N'T THiNK THATS EVER G0iNG T0 HAPPEND HE JUST HAS CHANGED S00000000 MUCCH SiNCE HE'S BEEN HANGiNG 0UT AR0UND STEPH AND SM0KiNG ALL THE DAMM TiME, HEH i D0N'T WANNA CRY ANYM0RE i D0N'T LiKE MYLES JR. SEEiNG ME CRY EVERYTiME WE'RE iN 0UR R00M... HEH i D0N'T EVEN THiNK MYLES WANTS T0 GET MARRiED WiTH ME ANYM0RE HEH HE D0ESN'T ACT LiKE HE CARES AB0UT ANYTHiNG ANYM0RE... G00SSSSH!!!!!!!!!! i D0N'T KN0W WHAT T0 D0 ANYM0RE, HEH i WANNA LEAVE AND JUST G0 HiDE S0MEWHERE AND N0T BE F0UND BUT i L0VE HiM S00 FUCKiNG MUCH THAT i CAN'T JUST WALK AWAY FR0M HiM HEH i CAN CERTANTLY TRY AND i C0ULD DEFANETLY C0ULD BE ABLE BUT iT WiLL BE REAL FUCKiNG HARD.. BUT i JUST WANT ALL THiS T0 FUCKiNG END 0F HiM LEAViNG AND N0T FUCKiNG C0MiNG H0ME AND WHEN i C0NFR0NT HiM AB0UT iT HE FiGHTS AND MAKES ME EVEN M0RE PiSSED AND WANNA CRY! HEH ALL iM G0iNG T0 SAY iS THAT iF HE KEEPS THiS UP i'LL LEAVE AND TAKE MYLES JR. iM N0T FUCKiNG PLAYiNG ANYM0RE AND FUCKiNG D0NE BEiNG FUCKED 0VVER AND LiED T0. | | |
| H0W SH0ULD i FEEL?? ALL i EVER WNNA D0 iS SiT iN A C0RNER AND CRY; HEH iM C0MPLETLY DEPRESSED FEELiNG LiKE i HAVE N0B0DY iN THiS W0RLD BUT ME, AND MY BELLY; EGH i KN0W i SH0ULD PR0BABLY SH0ULD BE HAPPY THAT MY BABY iS C0MiNG ANYTiME S00N, BUT i D0N'T KN0W WHY i JUST FEEL EMPTY RiGHT N0W... AND KN0WiNG THAT MAKES ME SAD EVEN M0RE, KN0WiNG THAT i CARE LESS THAT MY BABY iS C0MiNG AND iTS G0iNG T0 BE A BiG THiNG!! i JUST HAVE N0 FEELiNGS F0R ANYTHiNG RiGHT N0W.. HEH MYLES D0ESN'T EVEN WANNA BE AR0UND ME, ALL HE EVER WANTS T0 D0 iS BE 0UT HANGiNG 0UT WiTH HiS BUDDiES AND GETTiNG HiGH WHiLE i SiT AT H0ME AND PRETEND LiKE N0THiNG iS WR0NG AND TRY N0T T0 CRY ANYM0RE, BUT AT M0MENTS LiKE THiS i JUST KiNDA WANNA DiE AND G0 T0 HEAVEN S0 i D0N'T HAVE T0 W0RRY AB0UT ANYTHiNG ANYM0RE! BUT THEN MY BABY iS C0MiNG AND i JUST CAN'T LEAVE HiM AL0NE... HEH i KN0W iTS G0iNG T0 BE HARD T0 BE A M0M AS SUCH A Y0UGN AGE BUT iM H0PiNG i CAN PULL iT THREW... EGH S0METiMES i FEEL LiKE MYLES D0ESN'T CARE AB0UT ME ANYM0RE, SiNCE HE NEVER WANTS T0 BE AR0UND ME ANYM0RE, AND THE 0NLY TiME HE D0ES WANNA BE AR0UND iS WHEN HE WANTS T0 HAVE SEX AND THEN LEAVES ME AGAiN... HEH THAT JUST MAKES ME FEEL LiKE HE JUST USiNG ME :'( i D0N'T KN0W i JUST WANT ALL THiS T0 END S0ME WAY 0R AN0THER.. i D0N'T WANNA BE PREGNANT ANYMM0RE!! i WANT THiS BABY 0UT 0FF ME ALREADY,, i WANNA SEE HiM LAYiNG iN HiS BED AND ME BEiNG ABLE T0 H0LD HiM AND KiSS HiM AND LAY WiTH HiM.. i WANT T0 HAVE HiM C0MPLETLY iN MY LiFE ALREADY S0 i CAN JUST W0RRY AB0UT HiM AND N0THiNG ELSE M0RE; i WANT T0 BE ABLE T0 FEEL LiKE N0THiNG ELSE MATTERS iN THiS W0RLD BUT HiM .. MY LiTTLE ANGEL; i WANT F0R S00N AS HE C0MES ALL THiS DEPRESSED, SAD AND L0NELY FEELiNGS T0 G0 AWAY AND 0NLY HAPPiNESS BE iN MY LiFE... i WANT MY BABY B0Y T0 BE iN THiS W0RLD WiTH ME ALREADY!!! iM TiRED 0F SiTTiNG AT H0ME AL0NE AND HAViNG HiM KiCK ME AND M0VE ALL AR0UND iN MY BELLY AND ME N0T BEiNG ABLE T0 ACTUALLY T0UCH HiM... HEH iTS HARD WHEN ALL i EVER WANNA D0 iS CRY AND F0RGET THAT HE EVEN EXiST.. i NEED T0 ST0P THAT!! BUT THEN AGAiN i D0N'T KN0W WHAT iS WR0NG WiTH ME RiGHT N0W!! AND WHATEVER iT iS NEEDS T0 G0 AWAY!! CAUSE iM TiRED 0F FEELiNG LiKE THiS EVERY SiNGLE DAY..... | | |
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BABY iS C0MiNG :D
i KN0W iT HAS BEEN L0NG SiNCE i WR0TE ANYTHiNG D0WN AB0UT THE BABY AND STUFF... HEH WELL WE F0UND 0UT i WAS WAAAYY! M0RE PREGNANT THEN WHAT WE T0UGHT AND WE'RE HAViNG A B0Y; N0W iM READY T0 HAVE MY LiL ANGEL :]] ANYTiME S00N N0W HE'LL BE APEARiNG iN 0UR LiVES!! G0SH ME AND MYLES HAVE BEEN THREW AL0T 0F SHiT.. iM JUST RECENTLY LiViNG BCK WiTH HiM.. YAAH L0NG ST0RY SH0RT i WENT T0 LiVE WiTH MY SiSTER iN LAW F0R B0UT 3M0NTHS CAUSE 0F TRUANCY C0URT... BUT N0W iM BCK AT MYLES' H0USE :]] AND ALS0 i TALK T0 MY DAD AGAiN!! HE KN0WS iM PREGNANT AND HE'S LETTiNG ME STAY WiTH MYLES.. AND HE ALS0 WANTS F0R ME AND MYLES T0 GET MARRiED BY CHURCH 0NLY F0R N0W.. HEHE :DD LETS JUST SAY THAT MiNE N MYLES' LiVES ARE FiNALLY GETTiNG BETTER AND WE D0N'T HAVE T0 W0RRY B0UT ANYTHiNG ELSE.. HEH EVERY0NE iN THE FAMiLY iS PRETTY EXCiTED F0R THE ARRiVAL 0F 0UR LiTTLE 0NEE :DD YEEAHH! WE HAVENT YET SETTLE D0WN WiTH A NAME F0R 0UR BABY B0Y.. BUT H0PEFULLY BY THE TiME HE C0MES WE'LL HAVE 0NE.. HEHE; G000SSSSHH!!! iM JUST S00 EXCiTED F0R ALL 0F THiS :] i CAN'T ST0P SMiLiNG EVERYDAY AND SEEiNG THAT MY BELLY iS DR0PPiNG M0RE AND M0RE EACH DAY!! AND S00N THAT MY BABY WiLL BE HERE!!! :] MYLES AND i ALREADY STARTED T0 GET CL0THES AND SH0ES F0R THE BABY HEHE... AND WE G0NNA HAVE A BABYSH0WER THiS C0MiNG WEEKEND AND GETTiNG M0RE STUFF F0R BABYY :]] DAMMM.. AND i T0UGHT THAT ME AND MYLES' C0NTiNUEST FiGHTS WERE G0iNG T0 GET iN THE WAY 0F MY PREGNANCY.. HEH! WR0NG!!! YAH AT FiRST WE DiD F0UGHT BUT M0STLY CAUSE i WAS G0NE AT JNELS AND i 0NLY G0T T0 SPEND TiME WiTH HiM 0N THE WEEKENDS :/ AND BECAUSE 0F JNELS STUPiD C0MMENTS,,, BUT WE FiNALLY T0GETHER AGAiN! AND N0W WE STARTiNG 0UR LiVES ALL 0VER AGAiN JUST WAiTiNG F0R 0UR LiTTLE GiFT FR0M G0D T0 ARRiVE S00N AND EVERYTHiNG ELSE WiLL BE WHATEVER; YAH i W0RRY S0METiMES AB0UT THE EXPENSES AND STUFF LiKE THAT BUT THE WH0LE FAMiLY iS WiLLiNG T0 HELP US WiTH EVERYTHiNG THEY CAN S0 THAT KiNDA CALMS ME D0WN.. EGH!!! i JUST WiSH BABY WAS HERE ALREADY!! HEHE.. i GET M0RE AND M0REEE EXCiTED AS THE DAYS G0 BY :]
HERE iS BABYY AT 6M0NTHS BCK iN MARCH!!!
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